As you may have guessed from yesterday’s Sassy Starter, this week the Sassy Steel Magnolia is being taken over by the always fabulous Shauna of Mackenzie Image Consulting. She’s one of our Fabulous Four and you may even remember the guest post I wrote a few months back for her site. I asked Shauna back for a solo post because as I have gotten to know her as a person, a professional contact and a friend, the more I greatly admire what it is she does for her clients on a day to day basis. Sassy and always Classy, Shauna takes us behind the scenes of Image Consulting and Confidence. And believe me, you won’t want to miss this one…

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The Death of the Confidence Salesman

There are many image consultants out there who market themselves as “sellers of confidence.” They guarantee that confidence results from draping you with color swatches, camouflaging your flaws and by radiating a perfectly polished image out to the world.

And then there are those who truly get it – “it” meaning the understanding that confidence is not something that fits neatly into a ten-step checklist; a checklist asking you to stand up straight, shine your shoes and polish your etiquette.

Confidence is like a thumbprint … so unique to each and every person that it cannot be derived in one or even several ways universally.

There’s not one steadfast process that can be implemented to achieve self-confidence. So how can one claim to “sell” something that’s so different to each person? And something that is also so widely misunderstood?

Someone who claims to guarantee a boost to your self-confidence is confused and unknowingly so. I know this because I used to be this confused and unknowing seller of confidence early on in my career. Entering the image industry, I definitely jumped on the bandwagon, excitedly telling people, “I can guarantee you’ll feel more confident and walk out your front door feeling more assured about yourself than ever before!”

But over the years I eventually found “it.” One of the most significant things I can share with you is the notion that feeling good about yourself or your abilities is not the same thing as having confidence.

I grew up playing piano. My talent was not in technically advanced pieces but I sought them out because I thought it would win me competitions … they never did. Although I felt great about my ability to learn the piece, absent were any feelings of confidence. So I started learning music that I actually liked. Music that revealed my true talent: intonation and emphasizing notes and pitch in an expressive way.  I stopped looking for confidence in winning competitions and instead found belief in myself by playing music in a beautiful way … and those were the competitions I won.

Confidence cannot be sold because it doesn’t exist without its foundation: faith in yourself. Without faith or belief in yourself, it doesn’t matter what tools are put in front of your face, you’ll only achieve short-term results. Seeking confidence without having faith is like trying to put a puzzle together without all the pieces.

I’m not in the business of selling confidence but I am in the business of selling you, YOU. You and everything that comes with it: the perceived flaws, the strengths, the weaknesses, the sarcasm, the clumsiness, the doubts, the fears, the worry … YOU.  I’ll talk you out of emulating anyone else through your wardrobe, through your behavior, through your communications except for good ol’ genuine YOU. Why does this pay the bills? Because people, more than they realize, hide their real selves from the world. Sure you may put yourself out there, but are you really putting your self out there or the one you think you’re most likely to derive confidence from?

There’s no searching for confidence because it naturally happens when you have the faith to put your real self out there. The faith to let go of chasing false confidence and realizing that your true talents, ability and personality are the ones the world wants to see. We want transparency. We want authenticity. We want imperfection. The reason we connect with people is because we find some sort of common ground. And a lot of times, this common ground comes from a sense of humility and the honest imperfection that resonates with one another.

So I leave you with this: Don’t let anyone try to sell you confidence in putting on beautiful clothes. Find it instead, by being the real you in a beautiful way … imperfections and all.

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Shauna M. Heathman is the founder of Mackenzie Image Consulting, South Carolina’s first and only full-service image consulting firm. As a certified image consultant, she specializes in appearance, personal branding, public speaking and communications. She founded her company in 2007 after moving to Charleston, SC from Minnesota.

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*A sincere Thank You to Shauna for taking the time to sit down on the little red couch and tell us your story. It is truly a phenomenal one indeed! Don’t forget to check in tomorrow, dear readers, as her Music Snack will be up bright and early! An incredible song and video which will bring a great smile to your face and leave quite the impression.