I have a confession. I’m in a torrid love affair with Wikipedia. I am. (ok maybe not torrid) It’s my like my magic 8 ball. I close my eyes, ask my question, and within seconds the answer is revealed to me on the screen. It’s a wonderful relationship that me and this magic wiki have going.

One of the things I love doing most is exploring things you wouldn’t necessarily think to ask the magic wiki. Say …. emotions, human actions, characteristics, etc. Follow along with me on this one: This weekend I was called out to be flirting by a friend of mine after our waiter took our drink order.  Granted he was easy on the eyes, but I was by no means flirting – as I knew the act to be. She disagreed. I tried to proclaim her a flirt and state that everyone flirts, and well, needless to say I was quickly losing my argument. I gave up the fight and accepted the added title of text book flirt. Needless to say, the instance got me thinking ….. What exactly is this thing we call flirting? Am I a text book flirt as my friend had so pointedly proclaimed? The search was on…

Of course the first step was to Bing it. No such luck there as it directed me to AskMen.com’s Top 10 Signs She’s Flirting With You. Don’t get me wrong, I guess I do flirt quite often and with a lot of people – always within the realms of respect and 93.75% of the time quite innocently. I mean, I even flirt with myself! *Don’t act like you haven’t thrown out a Hey Gorgeous when you’ve seen your reflection on a good day, too. HOWEVER, according to said Top 10 Signs list, I’m guilty of shamelessly flirting with my hard-of-hearing librarian at the local county branch. Umm, no bueno. Obviously I was not finding what I was in search of here what so ever.

Enter the magic wiki. I found a wide array of information on the topic of flirting. More than just the meaning or signs, I’m talking history of the word, cultural impacts, the whole she-bang. Here’s a few pertinent points from my search for you to ponder:

Flirting is a playful, romantic or sexual overture by one person to another subtly indicating an interest in a deeper relationship with the other person, and can involve verbal communication as well as body language.

Flirting usually involves speaking and behaving in a way that suggests a mildly greater intimacy than the actual relationship between the parties would justify, though within the rules of socialetiquette, which generally disapproves of a direct expression of sexual interest. This may be accomplished by communicating a sense of playfulness or irony.

According to Kate Fox, there are two main types of flirting: flirting for fun and flirting with intent. Flirting for fun can take place between friends, co-workers, or total strangers that wish to get to know each other. This type of flirting does not intend to lead to sexual intercourse or romantic relationship, but increases the bonds between two people. Flirting with intent plays a role in the mate-selection process. The person flirting will send out signals of sexual availability to another, and expects to see the interest returned in order to continue flirting.  

Etymology The origin of the word flirt is obscure. The Oxford English Dictionary (first edition) associates it with such onomatopoeic words as flit and flick, emphasizing a lack of seriousness; on the other hand, it has been attributed to the old French conter fleurette, which means “to (try to)seduce” by the dropping of flower petals, that is, “to speak sweet nothings”. 

Cultural Aspects Flirting varies a great deal from culture to culture. For example, for many western cultures one very common flirting strategy includes eye contact. In these cultures, it is said that a look can say a million words. It includes what is referred to as peacocking where a man wears attention grabbing and fancy clothes to attract women. However, eye contact can have a very different meaning in some Asian countries. Men, however, may stare at Western women in such countries who might get in trouble if returning the glance. This act may mean that she is sexually interested instead of just flirting. Furthermore, Chinese and Japanese women are not expected to initiate eye contact which would be considered rude and disrespectful.

Well now, according to that description (there’s more here), we’ve all got a bit of the flirt in us, eh? The whole world’s a flirt! And why the hell shouldn’t it be?! As long is the majority is innocent and harmless and all respectable boundaries are acknowledged & followed, I simply don’t see why not. I rest my case. Done.

Whew! Thank you, magic wiki, for coming to my rescue yet again.  Although your Further Reading for Flirting is Rich Ferguson’s Tricks to Pick Up Chicks: Magic Tricks, Lines, Bets, Scams & Psychology, I won’t hold that against you. I’m filing a change request immediately after I hit publish on this post.

So now I guess the only question left is …. have you flirted with anyone today?

(and if you just shook your head No … are you sure about that?)

Don’t forget ….. * good things happen on tuesdays * ….. happy flirting.

photos & info: magic wiki