Do you hold grudges?
Do  you hang on to squabbles a little longer than you should?
Do you sometimes go a bit beyond plane old stubborn?

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grudge • [gruhj]

–noun 1. a feeling of ill will or resentment: to hold a grudge against a former opponent.

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Nearly all of us at some point have held a grudge against another. We’re human. It happens. Sometimes it’s just hard to let go of situations, people, things that have hurt you in some form or fashion, ourselves, the list goes on and on. But do we realize what holding a grudge can do to our self?

Holding a grudge is like walking around with a brand new Hermès Birkin bag filled with muddy rocks. It’s not smart. It’s not attractive. And it’s definitely not good for your bag, your back, or your image.

So why do we do it? Why do we walk around carrying the excess baggage while, most often, those who lie as the objects of said grudges [ minus when it is a grudge against ourself ] walk around free of care, guilt, muddy rocks?

I’ll be the first to tell you, I was once a woman of many grudges. I put all my troubles, angst, everything as blame on others. And I refused to let it go. For a very long time. And you know what it did? It only made things – and me – worse.

I had convinced myself that what was done to me was so unbelievably unforgivable and detrimental that I must never forget it – any of it – and I must let everyone know the wrong doing in the event the opportunity presented itself. Recipe for disaster.

Until finally I just gave up. I gave up and cut the ties with nearly all [still workin on a few] of the ugly, muddy, grudges I’d come to carry throughout the years. I just ….. let it go.

And I can not begin to tell you how free I now feel.

There is nothing so terrible, wrong, heinous [or any other adjective you insert in order to make holding on to your grudge seem ok] that you can not simply let it go. Some grudges do take a little longer to let go than others – just how long is determined by you and only you – but each and every one of them are entirely worth letting go.

Letting go doesn’t mean being naive, it means you’re releasing those feelings of anger, frustration, hurt, angst, you name it, and releasing the power the object of your grudge has over you. You’re taking back control of your life. Of your thought stream and your energies. Don’t you want that?

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

-Buddha

I think it’s time.

Don’t you want to feel free again?

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photo credit: 1, 3, 2,