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February16th

domestication confession

Posted in: Random, home & family

Hi, my name is Jennie B and I am

(Photo courtesy of www.AnneTaintor.com)

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This is the badge that I wore (not so proudly) Sunday afternoon. A simple Sunday afternoon where I was going to: A- purchase a baby shower gift & B- purchase ingredients then cook a broccoli cheese casserole. Neither was accomplished, however I did manage to launch myself into the worst anxiety attack I’ve ever had.

You see, I’ve never wanted a baby of my own. Babies make me nervous. That’s just me. And because of that, some people tend to think I’m abnormal. Whaaaat?!? You don’t like babies?!?! What’s WRONG with YOUUUUU??? Is the reaction I get most of the time.

As for cooking, we had family dinners every night since I can remember, but I never payed attention and learned. When I say I don’t know how to cook, it’s Whaaaat?!? You don’t know how too COOK??? But you’re a girl, aren’t you?!? How do you expect to get or keep a man if you don’t know how to cook???? (that last one always makes me laugh…..because THAT’s the real reason anyone learns how to cook, right?!?) So you can see where my two tasks to accomplish get a little iffy…

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Fast forward to Sunday, I’m in the store and I can’t find the crib aquarium I always buy. Add in about 7 adults ( male and female ) telling me what I should get and why I should get it and how I need to know this if I plan on getting preggers (one woman went as far and put her hand on my stomach which is just NOT ok what so ever) and what’s wrong with me for not knowing when this stuff when I’m 26, then add on 3 kids running around pushing buttons, making noise, yelling and all I wanted was my Fisher Price Crib Aquarium that I buy for every person who invites me to a baby shower but there was not one anywhere to be seen.

I ran out of the store rather quickly. I could feel myself getting worked up, heart pumping faster, hands shaking, having trouble breathing…the works. It’s not fun. I just wanted to get out of there before I screamed at the top of my lungs and cried right there in the store.

I drove to the next store. (which I probably should not have done) All I need to do is find my ingredients then go home and make my casserole. Simple enough, right? WRONG! I froze. Couldn’t remember where anything in the grocery was, wondered the isles up and down like it was my first time being in a grocery, got to the rice isle and broke down. There’s SO MANY friggin kinds of rice and my recipe didn’t say which kind and I had NO IDEA what kind to get and it’s just stupid, friggin RICE. I started crying again. A nice associate walked up to me asking me if I was ok, if I needed help and if I’d like to come up to the front of the store and sit down for a bit……Great. That’s all I needed was some store associate trying to Dr. Phil me. Thanks but I like to have my breakdowns on my own time and where I chose to have them. That was rather nice of him, though.

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Needless to say I changed my casserole to tacos, got my stuff & got the hell out of dodge. I knew better than to try driving home at this point so I called my Momma (because after all I am the fruit of her womb and apparently she sent out a bad apple) and cried to her on the phone in my car for a good 20 minutes.

Two things that to most seem so simple and easy terrified me to no end and I had no idea why I was reacting like I was. Was I really not normal?? Am I missing some womanly microchip that knows how to deal with babies and cooking? Am I really a rotten apple?? Maybe all those people were right…maybe there IS something wrong with me.

These are the questions that were running through my mind the entire time this incident was taking place. After a while I started to finally calm down as my Momma reassured me that I was not a bad apple…. but maybe I just wasn’t completely ripe yet and there’s nothing wrong with me. (Yes, I already knew that but sometimes it helps to hear other people tell you!) Add in a few humorous stories about my Momma and my Sister and I was good to go. (finally – it had been a long afternoon!)

And so while that badge may be exactly correct on some days, for the most part I’m a bit more Domestically Challenged rather than Disabled..but I’m learning. One step at a time, I’m learning. But at least I know that on the days I’m more disabled than challenged it’s ok. Even if I break down into an anxiety attack, it’s ok.

It’s a process.. but isn’t everything sometimes..

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December8th

The Road to Home

Posted in: SSM, The Open Road, home & family, inspiration

This week I am very honored to say that The Sassy Steel Magnolia has been taken over by the incredibly talented, amazingly inspiring , always entertaining, fellow friend, blogger and SSM, Angie Mizzell. You may remember when she asked me a few questions for one of her posts back in June or maybe you’ve heard me mention my Writing Yoda — that’s her, one in the same.

This week she’s giving us a glimpse into the journey she herself traveled on that (sometimes) long road to home. They say home is where the heart is, or home is where you lay your hat — but the real home — the home you feel most comfortable, safe, unafraid of your vulnerability — is the home you were born with, grew up with and live with each and everyday. At times we get lost or take a little longer than expected but always, always we return to the comforts of our own home.

So take a few moments and relax as Angie takes us down her road & reveals one of her secret sides..

In my late 20’s I was the morning anchor at a television station in Charleston, “the hometown girl done good.” I had all the things I had strived for up to that point… a successful career, great husband, new construction home. I was living and working in a city I loved, the place I grew up.

But I was far from home. I felt lost and unhappy, and I didn’t know exactly why. Sure, I was tired. The morning shift was tough. My husband, also in TV, worked on the opposite end of the clock. Some mornings, he was coming home as my alarm was going off. And each day, I put on the suit and the makeup and pushed the deadline. I always made my slot, turning “on” at the count of 3-2-1, and I did my job well.

For many years I told people, “I can’t imagine doing anything else.” Then one day, I started to wonder. Is this really what I’m supposed to be doing with my life? That question terrified me. I wasn’t supposed to be asking that question. I had already come so far. Wasn’t it time to start living happily ever after?

Despite my efforts to wrap my life into a perfect little bow, on the inside I was a tangled mess.

Around that time, my husband was offered a job in Portland, Oregon, and we agreed he should take it. The job needed him ASAP, so he went ahead of me. I’ll never forget the morning I stood on the sidewalk and watched him drive away. His Jeep Wrangler faded into the distance, and I turned back towards our brand new house. I took a picture of it in my mind.

Within two months, I had quit my job, sold our house, said dozens of goodbyes. Finally, all the boxes were loaded. I climbed up into the moving truck and drove away.

There’s something about driving a really large vehicle across the country with all your personal belongings stuffed in the back (did I mention I was also towing my Hyundai?) that brings you to a whole new level of awareness. For me, perhaps, it was the very real possibility of running over a compact car or flying off the side of a mountain.

On the road, I felt awake, in control. With my hands on the steering wheel, admiring the changing landscape as I crossed each state line, I was fully present. I wasn’t afraid. I can do this. My heart was heavy, but I did not cry. I wasn’t crushed by my emotions; they simply moved through me.

My destination was Portland, but beyond that, I didn’t really have a plan.

No plan. Seriously? I had been in forward motion since my senior year of college. The internship. The first producer job. Convincing the boss to give me a shot on air. Getting the anchor desk. Getting married. Buying the house.

I had a few interviews set up, but the truth was (psst… don’t tell anyone) I didn’t really want a job. I really wanted to take a break. And I did take a break, which is a whole other story which involves lots of trips to Starbucks, self-help books, too many infomercials and some unfortunate incidents with hair dye. Scratch cosmetologist off my list of many talents.

Anyway, the point of the story is this: On the road, stripped of all the outward markers of my identity, I got a glimpse of her– the authentic side of myself. The one who’s willing to shed the façade, the need to “appear” successful and what other people think. The one who can drive a big ass truck across the country.

I had been so busy building a career and a life that looked good on paper that I had forgotten to stay in touch with her. We were best friends, back when we were kids. She knew me better than anyone. She was creative and carefree and was lots of fun to be around. She had a kind heart and wanted the best for people, and for herself. She knew what was truly important in life.

My journey eventually took me full circle– back to Charleston. But today, I can tell you I’m truly at home. Whenever I feel lost, I remember to connect with that girl on the road.

Then I remember that she is me.

I want to say a huge Thank You to Angie – you are indeed the epitome of a Sassy Steel Magnolia and we are honored to have you here on the site. Such a great story, mixed with your usual humorous undertones, makes for an incredible and inspiring story for all to read. We can’t wait till you get your Memoirs written and we can bug you for a signed copy…hint..hint ;)

For more great stories from Angie head on over to her site: …under the MAC and stay tuned for her Music Snack selection, coming up tomorrow.
November25th

SSM Mid-Week Music Snack 4

Posted in: Music Snack, holiday, home & family, the South

For today’s Music Snack I wanted to take you back and visit my roots a little. Thanksgiving is my favorite of all the holidays simply because you have to do is eat, drink and GIVE THANKS! (plus I just really like saying Thank You — so I love a day dedicated to it)

I love families getting together for meals and opening their doors to others. I love the football on tv and the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. It’s just an all-around feel friggin awesome Holiday and it’s my favorite. <--have I told you that already?

And because of all of that, I just wanted to post a song that always makes me think of home and my family (and my cousin Michelle’s wedding). That song my friends is none other than

Dixieland Delight by Alabama

I hope you take time this Thanksgiving to look around and really give thanks for all you have in your life. I know I will and try to everyday. Have a wonderful Holiday and be safe in your travels. This lil Sassy Steel Magnoliais taking her Dixieland Delight-ness right on up the coast line to Connecticut to visit my Sista Sista. Good times indeed!

* Happy Thanksgiving *
October2nd

Welcome to The Sassy Steel Magnolia

Posted in: SSM, Welcome, home & family

Welcome to my new blogging home! I’m so excited about the new place and hope you are too. Things have changed up a bit so feel free to take a look around a little. you may be wondering what is up with the new name. Below you will find the answer, and you can also find it in the page: What is an SSM.

I can’t wait to hear feedback from my awesome, loving readers and am so excited about what is in store for all of you in upcoming posts! xox

What is a Sassy Steel Magnolia you ask? Well the answer is easier than you may expect.

Sassy -Lively and Spirited / Stylish and Chic.

Steel – any of various modified forms of iron…having qualities of hardness elasticity, and strength.

Magnolia – any shrub or tree … having large, usually fragrant flowers and an aromatic bark, much cultivated for ornament.

Let me explain it to you this way. Sassy is a word I’ve had more than one person use when describing me. (we won’t get into the others) I love the word Sassy, it’s one of my favorite words in the English Speaking Dictionary. Something inside of me lights up when I see it or hear it. A spark lights up. It not only makes me smile, but it reminds me just how many different sides I have, with Sassy being one of my most notable.

Steel Magnolia is a phrase often associated with us Southern Girls. (You may have also heard of that lil picture show that came out in the late 80’s with Sally Fields, Julia Roberts, Dolly Parton and more phenomenal women.) In my opinion being called a Steel Magnolia is one of the greatest compliments a woman can receive. I bet you never thought of it that way, huh?

We’re strong and tough as Steel yet delicate and beautiful as a Magnolia. We are often contradictory, as our names sake implies. We can make you scratch your heads in confusion or frustration one minute and make you smile like a kid on Christmas morning the next. We are made of many sides and colors and can often mold into a variety of situations. All the while we stand firm in our values with roots stronger than the greatest of winds. Have I created a detailed enough visual for you? I sure do hope so!

The reason I chose Steel Magnolia to be apart of my Web site name is because that’s what I love about being a woman. I adore, however others may not, being confusing and crazy, shy and loud, strong and weak, a bundle of emotions and a back-bone of society.

The complexities of being a woman is nothing to be ashamed of and should be celebrated in great splendor.

That’s my goal here. By sharing what I love, things I run upon, my insights, a few other Phenomenal Woman and SSMs, I hope that you – my dear reader – find a little Sassy Steel Magnolia inside of you. I, myself, am always coming to terms with being a Sassy Steel Magnolia. I hit walls every now and then, naysayers, negative nancys, but now, I am tired of keeping it bottled up and I’m taking my journey to the masses. Mount up!
July14th

The First Year With Out Him Here

Posted in: home & family, inspiration, purple, the South

I could write a million and one blog posts about my dad. All the wisdom he instilled, the one-liners he would throw out, the ways he helped people, the things we argued over, the wide array of things in the pantry you can mix with chicken to create a “meal” (I learned a lot that first year in Texas), which flowers and vegetables grow best where and when, the way that he’d solve problems, his candle fascination, the way he could scare the crap out of people who didn’t know him but light up a room for people who did…the list goes on and on.

Yes, Pops was a great man indeed. And this past year since he packed his bags and moved up to Heaven has been quite an adjustment - to say the least. I wanted to share with you a view of my journey. It has been very difficult, but it has also been very empowering for me as well.

The First Year With Out Him Here

People say that losing a loved one is the hardest thing you go through in life. I think that statement is backwards. The hardest thing is not losing a person, the hardest thing is learning how to live without that person. When someone asks what’s it like to lose your Dad, I say the same thing every time. Some get it, some don’t. But being a girl who’s only 25, out on her own, single, and still trying to figure out who she actually is, this is exactly what it’s like:

It feels like being swept up in a tornado. One that sits on top of you for a week while you tend to the funeral arrangements, are being consoled by friends and family, and trying to accept the initial shock and loss that has occurred. Everything is spinning around you super fast and even if you scream, nothing stops and no one hears you.

And then the tornado is gone. You’re still standing, but nothing seems to be in the same place it was before. You have to pick back up and keep going..you just can’t find the roads you thought you were on.

This past year I found myself, struggling at times, trying to figure out my way around with out having him to call on the phone. Yes, I started going back to see a Crazy Doctor in the beginning after I got back out here to Charleston, and I still do see her from time to time. ( Crazy Doctor = my therapist. She’s not crazy, I call myself crazy for going to her, but that’s what I call her and we laugh. ) There were days that were incredibly hard – Father’s Day – and days that went so well, I had a feeling he was pulling some strings for me Up There.

My Parents. Married nearly 40 years.

With that being said, you may be wondering why I believe this past year has been so empowering. I’ll tell you why: I was – and still am – in the process of figuring things out..that’s what people in their 20’s do..we figure things out, BUT that’s a big thing I turned to him for-help-guidance-encouragement. Do I have plenty of other loving people to turn to? Yes. Did I call on them? No. Why? Because I’m about as stubborn and bull-headed as they come. (anybody notice a resemblence in that statement – hah)

What did I do? I turned to myself. And eventually learned to listen and trust the words inside and discovered that most of what I looked to him for was indeed in my possession. I still call my family and friends to tell them about my Great Ideas to see what they think, but I know that what I’m really looking for comes from me. I never had the courage to take hold of it until now. I’m not scared anymore – of a lot of things.

I guess he really did know what he was talking about when he said I could change the world if I wanted to. I can’t help but laugh that I’m still learning lessons from him even after he’s gone up to Heaven. For some reason, I’m not surpised.

I often wonder what he would say right now if I could talk to him on the phone and tell him everything I’ve come to learn. I can almost hear the conversation: “Hey Pops! You’re not gonna believe what has happened…” “Uh oh..Jennie Boo what did you do this time?!” (ok so I might have been a bit of a trouble maker and known for calling the house with the most random, off-the-wall ideas on occasion) Sometimes I really can tell he’s proud of me..of all of us, my brothers, my sister, my mom..while other times I’m like “HEY!! Are you LISTENING Up There?!?!?” Of course when that happens I usually run into a wall, or the corner of a table, or drop something on my foot right after. My family hasn’t ever been that great with subtle hints…..apparently some things never change.

Trying to convince him that one of my infamous "Great Ideas" that I've come up with really is great...judging by the look on my face, it wasn't working so well. LOL

I miss my father immensely and always will. I know he will always be with me, watching over me, and helping by encouraging me to find the answers within, because he knows they’re there. He always knew. That’s what he was good at.

• Stephen Francis Fiechtl •

October 10, 1946 – July 14, 2008