The Sassy Steel Magnolia
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  • August17th

    sad yet beautiful .. sometimes that says it all
    A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover

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    The Music Snack comes out every Wednesday to put a little rhythm in your week. Requests are always welcome, so don’t be shy!

     

  • January20th

    My dearest, sweet 7 year old Jennie,

    Happy Birthday! I guess by now you’ve figured out that your big brother Jim was just kidding and there’s no test you have to pass before you can turn 7. (He will never stop joking around with you like that.) It’s my birthday too, except today I’m turning 27. There’s a lot that happens over the next 20 years of your life. Some of these things I want to apologize for and some, well, some will just be good to know. You won’t understand what I’m telling you now, but in 20 years it will all make perfect sense. Here we go….

    • For starters, I know you get frustrated being the baby of the family. It’s never going to change. You will always be the Little Sister and they are always going to look out for you, try to protect you and be your Big Brothers and Sister. One day you’ll realize just how lucky and grateful you are for that.
    • Your first (and only) detention in grade school is for initiating a peanut fight. Own it.
    • Right now you are living in state #3 / city #3. You’ve got a few more moves on the way. I’m in state #6 / city #7 right now. *Heads up: the move to state #4 / city #5 will scare the hell out of you but it will be the best year of your life. You might want to start learning Spanish now.
    • Being labeled as having the dynamic personality of the family ain’t all that bad.
    • In high school I’m sad to say you begin an awful downward spiral. You are going to develop very twisted views of the perfect body image which will lead to doing harmful and hurtful things to try and attain that image. This will occur off and on for years but eventually the cycle will come to an end as you become comfortable with who you are. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough. I’m sorry I starved you, forced you to rid yourself of food, and for all the lies I made you tell to cover this painful secret. After college, your self-consciousness fades to give way to self-assurance, and even today it’s still growing.
    • There’s going to be an incident Senior year of high school where you will wake your mother in the wee hours of the morning to speak to a police officer. You will never live this moment down. It will be a running joke in your family for years to come.
    • It takes a handful of spiral perms before you learn it is not a good look for you.
    • In college you are going to get your heart broken. Bad. For a few years you will look back absolutely horrified at how silly, naive, stubborn and humiliated you were. Honey – it’s all part of the journey and by the time you’re 27, the horrified part has slipped away and you will look back at these times with a smile, a little bit of laughter and say “Well that was one hell of a ride.
    • *Note: You will have this reaction when looking back at nearly all times in your life – the good, the bad, even the heinously ugly – don’t worry, just keep the journey going.

    • Your sister is going to become your dearest friend. Regardless of your differences, arguments and struggles, she’s always going to love you and be there for you and vice versa. Always.
    • Stick with your writing. Trust me.
    • When you are 24, you will go through the darkest time of your life. I won’t tell you what it is, but I want you to know this: the darkest time will spark a change greater than you could ever imagine. You will begin to see your world in a whole new way and I’m so excited for you to get to this part of your life.
    • And finally …. I’m sorry I stopped believing in the magic. This one single act caused an astounding ripple effect and much more than the magic I once believed in, that you believe in now, was locked away; held captive by a wall that grew thicker as time went by. But don’t fret, little one. Remember that big change I told you about? Well, I finally believe in the magic once again. It seemed like it took an eternity to get it back, but I promise, this time I’ll never let it go.

    Well now, I know you are probably very confused by all of this but take comfort that in 20 years you will nod your head and smile. This by no means is all the highs and the lows, just a few pertinent points for you to keep an eye out for. But it’s time for you to go celebrate your 7th birthday…..enjoy your yellow cake with chocolate frosting, it’s always going to be your favorite.

    Happy Birthday to you, dear sweet Jennie Boo!

    love & magic,

    Jennie B

    p.s. You finally get to live by the Ocean one day. ;)

    p.p.s. This song is your celebration song starting at about age 25 …. enjoy!

  • October19th

    While you are reading this right now I’m probably strapped into a chair, trying my hardest not to have a knee-jerk reaction out of panicky fear and send a plate full of utensils flying across the room.

    I’m at the dentist’s office.

    (Or at least I will be when this post arrives in your RSS feeds and mailboxes.) I’ll admit, it’s been a tad bit longer than the suggested time between visits. I’d been in the process of gearing myself up towards going again and seeing what all I need to have done and the like. As if someone felt I needed a little extra nudge to make sure I got myself to the dentist, something, of course, happened to my lower right wisdom tooth (which, yes I know, isn’t supposed to be there anyways), leaving me to cope with the throbbing pain spreading across my jaw.  So that’s where I am while you’re reading, having a dentist look at me and assess the situation. *I’ll let you know how it turns out.

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    I started thinking about how by nature, I’m a nurturing type of person. Nearly all women are on some level. If you are sick or hurt, there’s a good chance I’m going to offer my assistance. Whether it’s taking you somewhere, talking YOU into going to see a doctor, dropping off a casserole (store bought from me, obviously) anything, on instinct I ask what can I do to ease your situation. So I ask….

    WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR ME TO TAKE MY OWN ADVICE?!

    Why do we, as women, as natural born nurturers, tend to neglect nurturing ourselves, in the most important of ways, until often we have no other choice? Granted I am not speaking about every female, but I know a large portion who suffer from this same self-infliction. Is it laziness? Is it the money? Is it over-caring for others but under-caring for ourselves? Is it out of fear? Is it because we are often pre-dispositioned to place ourselves last on the list?

    I’ll tell you what my hesitations were on going to the dentist: money & fear. (Funny how those two words are often lumped together.) See that picture over to the right? That’s what I think about when I envision going to the dentist, or pretty much any doctor’s office for that matter. I’ve never been a fan of the doctor’s office.

    For anyone else I’m a pusher – a doctor pusher – a feel better, take care of it before it gets worse pusher. Given my hypochondriac tendencies, you’d think I’d be in the doctor’s office repeatedly. Like Veda in My Girl, every week a new ailment, but no. It takes something big to drag me to a doctor, but when it comes to a loved one, I’ll make the appointment for them myself if I have too.

    I think my issues of going to the doctor are a combination of a few different things. My tendencies to take care of others before myself, silly fears and phobias, worries that there might be something wrong, etc. As always though, my body has a way of saying “HEY…you…yea, you…TAKE CARE OF MEEEEEEEEEEEE!” – whether in terms of something coming up or exhaustion setting in (an infamous tell that I need to slow down or I’m going to get more than a pesky cold).

    At least my body is well aware, although my mind often isn’t, of how stubborn, hard headed, and nurture-neglectful I can be. It’s comforting to know there’s a part of me always in the driver’s seat. *even when the rest of me is trying to find the keys or busy driving someone else around.

    photo credit: we♥it
  • October14th

    Sonnet 29
    When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,
    I all alone beweep my outcast state
    And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries
    And look upon myself and curse my fate,
    Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
    Featured like him, like him with friends possess’d,
    Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope,
    With what I most enjoy contented least;
    Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
    Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
    Like to the lark at break of day arising
    From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven’s gate;
    For thy sweet love remember’d such wealth brings

    - William Shakespeare

  • October5th

    “Beauty shines from within and makeup frames that.”

    -Andrew C. Petersen

    To put it bluntly: my frame was busted. And I was in need of a serious retouch  - with all the brushes.

    And so it began ….

    With the help of Christina of Good Graces Photography I was able to document my makeup application lesson with Andrew. Under the often unforgiving fluorescent lighting of my office (Location selected on purpose, because let’s be honest – how many places do you know that have perfect lighting? Exactly.), I sat down with zero makeup on my face and braced myself for what was about to unfold.

    Photobucket

    First step begins with skin care.  Daily washing of your face in the morning and at night and use an exfoliate (with round beads, NO grains!) at least once a week, or whatever works best for your skin. And then hydrate, always always hydrate with a moisturizer and never forget the SPF (interesting fact about SPF coming up Thursday that I’d never known before!). After swiping a cleansing cloth over my face, Andrew used a really light moisturizing primer. Good thing I learned about primer, it moisturizes and fills in the little cracks.

    Primer: “Its like putting a slip on under your skirt.”

    Best explanation I’ve ever heard. Once your skin is ready, its time to get your brush on. And it starts with the eyes. One of many lessons I learned that day – always start with the eyes.

    *Note: I tend to go rather natural with my makeup for everyday and at the office. Andrew walked me through on how to Take A Step Up if I’m meeting people out for drinks after work as well as a Night Time Sassy for hitting the town. These steps can easily be tailored to you with your matching color palette.

    Eyes

    Why start there? “Women tend to wear too much foundation. When you start with the eyes you’re nearly half way done when you finish them.” Starting with the eyes also make clean up of smudges or powder sprinkles much easier when there’s not other makeup to wipe away.

    • With chin up, looking down apply an eye base (primer) all over the lid of your eye and don’t forget the corner. This evens skin tone and, if you’re a natural fan like me, can be used as your eye color for a natural look. Apply this with a brush (the same as the one you use as your concealer) or your finger tip.
    • After your eye base add a light color to the ball of your eye, i.e. from your lash line up to the crease.
    • Mascara – Hold the mascara wand upwards and swipe across the bottom of your lashes. This helps separate them to avoid the clumpy tarantula eyes (scary). For your top lashes hold the wand flat and swipe them up your lashes, wiggling the wand a bit to help with separation.  When completed use a mascara brush (or another tool I’ll mention Thursday) to separate even further if needed.

    • Clean up: This is a big reason you do your eyes first! Use a Q-Tip to touch up any areas that you see fit. The shadow doesn’t get caught in concealer or your foundation because it’s not on yet. Always use a Q-Tip – so much easier than smudging it around with your finger.

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    • Take it Up a Notch: With a beveled brush do a windshield wiper motion in the crease of your eye with a slightly darker color than that on the ball of your eye. Aim to cover 3/4ths of the crease.
    • Use a powder Eye Liner, with a brush, to lightly line your top lid. As for the bottom, line as far as you have lashes. (I always had questions about that – never understood the half way situation.) Don’t worry if the shadow sprinkles off or you get out of line. Another reason to put eyes first, ladies!

    • Night Time Sassy: Take a darker eye color to the outer corner of your eye and brush up slightly from the lash line. (Andrew used a dark charcoal on me.) A technique I had never done before but provides great, subtle results. *Understanding the whole, less is more theory finally.
    • Use a brow pencil (that matches the color of your hair) to trace your brow and lightly brush out. *I had never used a brow pencil but I was a big fan after I saw what it can do when used properly. It’s something I experiment with – I’m learning my way of the brow.

    Foundation / Concealer / Powder


    Once your eyes are completed it’s time to move on to the rest of your face. This is the part I’m usually cautious about. I’m weary of liquid foundations because I don’t like to feel that cakey feeling some can leave. Andrew urged me to step out of my box and try a light foundation with an SPF in it. So I sat back, said You’re the Boss, Apple Sauce (not really, but I thought it) and decided to see what happened. Well, he was right about trying out different brands and types until you find one that feels right – because I might have fallen in love with the bottle of foundation that morning. Important notes to remember about the whole Foundation / Powder / Concealer order:

    Liquid Foundation before Powder
    Liquid Foundation before Concealer
    Concealer before Powder

    Foundation: Andrew put my foundation on with a brush and during this point I realized how little you really need to use. And you don’t have to cover every surface of your face. <–I’d been completely mistaken since day 1 on that. Good to finally know and see for myself!

    *Great tips and insider information on Foundation in Thursday’s post.

    Concealer: Use the wand to put concealer on your face first then a brush (can be same brush as your eye base after cleaning it off – more on brushes Thursday!) to blend it in. Dab concealer on the creases of your nose first - “We all get red here, it’s not just you, don’t worry!” – to even out skin tone. Then small triangles under your eyes to counter act pesky little bags. Dab the brush in the areas you want to conceal, rather than swipe the brush, to help the concealer cover the desired areas better.

    Powder: Run a light sweep of pressed powder (or loose but I’m a clutz and spill it everywhere, and I just got a new makeup bag that I don’t want it to fall out in) over your face. Dab the powder in areas, such as the crease under your bottom lip, that you want to cover a little more and sweep the brush for the rest.

    Blush :: Bronzer


    “My colors are blush and bashfulI have chosen two shades of pink, one is much deeper than the other” – Steel Magnolias

    I’ve always had issues with blush and bronzer. Blush in a sense that I get confused on exactly where to put it and how far to go and well, you know the blush struggle. But Andrew showed me exactly where blush should go and even pointed out that I had selected (after years of trials with this one) the correct blush color for me. (Yay! Fist pump.) So where does blush go?

    On the High Apple of your Smile

    Now with bronzer it was always more of a color / quantity control situation. I used to think of bronzer as a chance to turn my entire face and color a nice golden tan. <– Thank goodness that statement is in the past tense. For my skin tone Andrew suggested I go with a pink-based bronzer.

    I knew bronzer is meant to highlight features but again, I had no clue how to do that…until I was introduced to the E & 3 method.  With your brush start at your forehead and trace a light E (forehead to mid cheek to chin) on one side of your face then do the same but trace a light 3 on the other side. Trace a light line down your nose and even lighter on your esophagus. *Note: this is the only time you put makeup anywhere other than your face.

    Night Time Sassy: Use a light highlighter on the cheek bone, brow bone and the inner corner of your eye. The highlighter Andrew used on me was a light, cream-based color he simply dabbed on with the brush.

    Lips

    For my lips Andrew used a chubby lip pencil and gloss. I like to keep my lips natural 90% of the time so this was right up my ally! Easy to carry with me and touch up throughout the day and still look great? Sold. And with this route I didn’t have to worry about trying to trace the outline of my non-existent top lip and wonder should I fill in or not fill in and…yea. The chubby pencil took away those worries and gloss (which he said I can switch with my Rosebud Salve whenever I please because the pencil will still provide a touch of color) adds that splash of shine everyone loves!

    Put it all together and this is my transformation:

    And there you have it. Exactly how Mr. Andrew C. Petersen walked me through step by step in the makeup application process. *I might have missed a few details here and there on accident. (Andrew, please forgive me if I did!) The best part was that he would show me something and then have me do the other side. When I looked in the mirror I knew he didn’t just make me over, whirl my chair around and give a Taadaaa! I did part of it myself. Having the confidence of knowing you can walk out and with a little practice do it yourself every day makes the world of difference. Trust me on that one.

    Overall, my every day makeup averages about 20 – 30 minutes. Before that might have been a bit of a pain trying to squeeze that in to my mornings, but now…now I don’t mind waking up a little earlier each day to take some time for myself.

    I totally deserve it.

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    *Believe it or not – I left out about 1/3 of everything we talked and laughed about in this post. But don’t you worry, that’s why there’s another post with more tips, tricks and some of his hilarious one liners coming to you on Thursday morning.  Stay tuned …..

    * THANK YOU *

    To Andrew for showing me the way & to Christina for capturing it all.

    *To read all the posts in my series with Andrew, please click here.